Kim's space

Since Ashley was born I can count my consecutive daily showers on one hand.  I just resigned myself to an every other day two minute bathing routine punctuated by my ever present scrunchy.  Well now that she’s in school I can’t say I’m any less busy, but I’ve realized that by pushing my routine back by twelve minutes I can squeeze in a shower and shampoo on a daily basis!  I just wake up twelve minutes before my daughter.  I know it sounds crazy, but this slight shift in my beauty regime has caused an amazing chain reaction.  My co workers think I’ve had “work done”, my Mother gives me half as much grief, and Matt can’t keep his hands off of me.  Well the Matt part is no surprise, even when my hair was caked with baby formula he was still flashing me his come hither stare.  I could set my clock by that man’s libido.

Why can’t my husband understand Moms’ night out shouldn’t bother him even if his Guys night out drives me nuts .  Hey, I’m not bringing a stack of one dollar bills with me, am I?  Going out with a group of Mom friends is like a therapy session with cake and three forks.  I need to consult with my fellow maternal warriors so they can reassure me that I’m not ruining my child’s life.   If he could convince me that his buddies from work were also exchanging parenting advice I’d be less likely to object to a Tuesday night poker game.  Truth be told the girls and I rarely get to the parental chit chat before last call.  But he doesn’t need to know that, does he?

I know I'm lucky she's helping us out for free, but my mother is driving me crazy.  I came home yesterday and she had reorganized every drawer in the kitchen.  I can't find a frigging thing.  And she's so proud of herself.  She stood there waiting for me to open a drawer so she could gloat.  Yeah, thanks a lot, Mom, and by the way, will I ever see my salad tongs again?

Okay, the kitchen did need a little straightening up.  But I swear, if she goes into my bathroom and touches any of my toiletries, I'm gonna scratch out her eyes with a mascara wand.